Chapters:

 

WHY MOVIES WERE INVENTED

 

WHITE PEOPLE AND EXTRATERRESTRIALS

 

CROTCH SNIFFING DOGS - SAVE THE CHICKENS

 

EXPANSION RELIGION

 

THE DUDE HUG

 

PATHETIC MEN IN PACKS

 

WOMEN TALK MEN FIX

 

GO AHEAD, STARE AT MY GIRLFRIEND

 

THE PRICE FOR LOCKING IN THE TRIM

 

WHY MEN GO TO COLLEGE

 

THE THREE THINGS A WOMAN
SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A MAN

 

WORK THAT STUFF

 

WOMEN DRESS FOR OTHER WOMEN

 

SEAT UP SEAT DOWN

If you go to Amazon, Itunes or Barnes and Noble, you can preview the ebook from the beginning to chapter 2. The audiobook is on the way soon! For now you can listen to samples.

Click on the black square to Play Chapter 22: The Dude Hug

Click on the black square to Play Intro, Forward:
Ch. 1: The Ultimate Pickup Line and
Ch. 2: Why Movies Were Invented

Click on the black square to Play
Chapter 1: The Ultimate Pickup Line

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Chapter 2: Why Movies Were Invented

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Chapter 18: Crotch Sniffing Dogs

 

Chapter 1:

 

The Ultimate Pickup Line

 

This is a letter from Your Nightly Nelson giving the world The Ultimate Pickup Line:

 

 

For a man, starting a conversation with a woman can be quite difficult. So in turn, the male gender has resorted to a “line” or “pickup line”. Yes you know them all. “Do you come here often? Didn’t I see you at the market last week?” and so on.

 

If you are a woman I am sure you’ve heard them all too. Using transcendental meditation in conjunction with my private think-tank housed in an undisclosed location, I now give to the men of the world: The Ultimate Pickup Line.

 

Here you go. This one will work every time. Walk up to a woman and say,

 

“Hi my name is Nelson, and I can be changed.”

 

Bam!

 

When you see her reaction you will wonder how you weren’t able to live without the phrase: “I can be changed.”

 

What woman wouldn’t want you?

 

This is what women want.

 

This is what they live for! Nothing more than to change a man into what they think he should be. You are now putty in her hands. She can reshape you. She can remold you.

 

So the next time you want to meet a woman, use The Ultimate Pickup Line.

 

 

 

This is a letter from Your Nightly Nelson

Chapter 2:

 

Why Movies Were Invented

 

This is a letter from Your Nightly Nelson explaining the necessity for motion pictures:

 

 

You could say Thomas Edison invented the motion picture, although he really didn’t invent the movie camera. He just improved upon it.

 

According to popular belief, movies are entertainment. In actuality, movies are just another tool for big business to take your money.

 

Okay, that was a little harsh. There are some really good movies that are worth paying the “big money” to see. Here is the real reason why movies were invented. They were invented to get you out of a bad date.

 

Yes, to get you out of a bad date.

 

You are at dinner and things are going so-so. You have to make a decision. You either have to bail out using some pathetic excuse or go on with the night and suffer over drinks.

 

Help is now available my brave socializer! You can go to a movie.

 

A movie adds that needed dialogue that was suffering during dinner. It also kills about two hours.

 

When the credits roll and the lights come on you just yawn and say, “Wow, look at the time. We need to get you home.”

 

There you have it.

 

An out!

 

A very good out!

 

You look good. She looks good. Everyone saves face and you never pick up the phone again.

 

Bad Date? Suggest a movie.

 

You’ll be happy you did.

 

 

 

This is a letter from Your Nightly Nelson.

 

 

@2013 Letters From Your Nightly Nelson

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